It only takes one day – one good day – when the world seems to slip by so much easier than it did before, to reawaken dreams of better days to come. A good training run today has allowed me to believe again that there may be life in the old dog yet. It was one of those rare occasions on which it feels easier to run than to stop and I enjoyed the run greatly. The company was good and the miles were precious.
These days I find that my spirits will either sink or soar on the flimsiest basis. A small set-back has the power to convince me that I’ve been kidding myself all along and that I really should pack it all in, while one really good run can set me free to dream again. As a younger runner I was more inclined towards what I believed at the time was pragmatism. I had no ambitions to world records and glittering first place finishes. I was younger and wiser then. I knew then that I wasn’t one of the anointed ones and that I couldn’t aspire to their almost mystical fitness. As I’ve grown a bit older I’ve learnt that it makes no sense to place such arbitrary limitations on myself. Although not all things are possible, I have managed to do so much more than I had ever imagined would be possible. If only I could stay with the positive thoughts and steer around the dips. Then again the whole experience would probably not be as enjoyable, exciting or fulfilling if the road was that smooth.
There’s a real difference between understanding the process and being able to control it. I know now that I’ll never be able to convince myself that I should be up when my heart feels down. I think I’ll have to settle for the fact that I’m going wherever the road takes me and settle for that.
Anyway, the road’s been pretty interesting so far.
I think I’ll go for a run.